by Dena Blatt
(a portion of my forthcoming book Dear Dena on handwriting analysis)
They say that opposites attract. True, but do they know what they are getting into? Imagine a thrifty person married to a free-spender. The thrifty one is drawn to the glamour of the free spirit, but is anxious when the bills can’t be paid. The spendthrift, when the bill collector is at the door, wishes he could be more like his mate, but does not change. The arguments continue, and both suffer.
Each looks to what is missing within. The messy person finds the neat one, the talkative person finds the listener in the quiet one, the “taker” finds the “giver,” the extrovert is drawn to the introvert, and each struggles with the demands of his opposite.
In order for the relationship to “work,” that is, continue, it becomes co-dependent—one of them has to dominate and the other give in. They fit because each has a need of the other. Take masochists and sadists, for example. What would sadists be without masochists? Each has picked a role familiar and fitting to him from his childhood experiences, and consciously or unconsciously plays it out.
As a certified graphoanalyst of many years, I would do, in addition to individual personality profiles, what I used to call a “Compatibility” of a couple’s handwriting. However, I always made a point of never saying that they were compatible or not. I would simply say: “Your handwriting shows you have these traits, and your partner reveals this or that character and personality. It’s up to you whether or not you can live with it.”
I stopped doing these “compatibilities” when all relationships that came to me, broke up. What I’ve found in my graphoanalysis work, is that couples of like character and personality (in contrast to opposites), find not only less friction in their relationship, but more companionship and mutual encouragement.
So, opposites may attract, but it seems relationships with mostly similar traits but with a few differences (to spice it up), are the healthier ones—those most likely to be happy and long.
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